Bengal's Vegetarian Widows

Food taboos isolate Indian widows in traditions upheld for generations

Mar 2, 2006

To a Western person, vegetarianism implies a proud and rational decision, but to a Bengali it signifies widowhood and food taboos.

When I informed my Bengali mother-in-law

of my New Year's resolution to become a vegetarian, she was suprised. I was surprised in turn, especially in the light of an incident years ago, when I schocked her profoundly by polishing off a large spoonful of raw hamburger meat.

My announcement was a proud one: I prize my insight into the health benefits of a vegetarian diet and the will power that will be necessary to overcome my love of filet mignon and coq-au-vin. And, having the raw meat incident in mind, I thought she would be especially pleased. But I was met, once again, with incredulity!

The darling of Bengali cuisine is, of course, fish, but meat too is had: chicken, lamb, goat, and even beef. There is only one group of Bengalis that never partakes of either fish or meat: widows. Indeed, for a Bengali, vegetarianism is a sign of widowhood. My grandmother-in-law, who is a widow and a vegetarian, was actually the first who tried to dissuade me from my vegetarian intent.

India has the highest prevalence of widows in the world: the census of 2001 counted over 34 million. The majority of them are under the imposition of food taboos designed to keep them isolated. Thus they are barred from eating fish and meat, as well as onions, garlic, and hot spices, which are believed to be impassioning. In many urban areas these rules are now being relaxed, but the older generation and many in the rural areas still live by them.

But, so say the scholars (e.g., Rukmini Bhaya Nair, "Are we what we eat?"), by devising and cooking sumptuous vegetarian dishes, Bengali widows have made themselves indispensable in the kitchen, thus beating the system! Attesting to this (and the characteristic Bengali wit) was a nineteenth century writer, who said that it was impossible to taste the full glory of vegetarian cooking unless your own wife becomes a widow (Chitrita Bannerji, "What Bengali Widows Can and Cannot Eat", Granta 52, 1995).

This is not the place to extol the great sumptuousness, ingenuity and variety of vegetarian dishes, some of which I have tasted. No such feasts are coming my way, anyway. This is the other side of the coin: those dishes take so much time and devotion, a working mother and her family would go hungry having them. My quick-and-easy style of vegetarianism will just have to do... as long as I refrain from serving my father-in-law tofu.